As many of you know we love our pussy cats and they love us, but one person who doesn’t love them is our next door neighbour…..or the toilet attendant as we now affectionately call her.
We have got to know her quite well over the summer and one of the girls often plays with her granddaughter. However a couple of days ago the turncoat ‘bravely’ posted a note through our door because, evidently one of our cats has defecated on her side of the fence. I say ‘bravely’ but it was in fact, quite the opposite, as we watched her run down the garden path, post the letter and then run back to her house like a bad player at ‘knock down ginger’.
Ordinarily we would have been mortified that one of our neighbours was upset with us, if it were not for the condescending tone of the note that she posted addressed to ‘the boys’. Coupled with the fact that it could also have been one of a plethora of cats that roam our neighbourhood, or foxes, she is now demanding we build a higher fence.
So as not to get into an argument, we decided we would offer to clear said mess from her lawn and get on with our lives, however today, with clearly nothing better to do with hers, we have received note number 2.
The note, more condescending and derogatory than the 1st and with clear intention of action, describes that she has counted 29 deposits. Firstly, who counts cat poo and keeps a tally?, and secondly, if the cat has done an extra 28 poos in the 2 days since the last note then we seriously need to get the cat seen to….maybe Gillian McKeith would be able to identify the real perpetrator responsible for providing free fertiliser to her garden.
So the moral is….be neighbourly and ask nicely and thou shalt have the mess removed from your lawn…until then the offer is withdrawn.